|
Discipline
should not become the domain of just one parent. Mothers and fathers
should both participate in the disciplining of their children.
Mothers should not threaten their children by telling them that
they will get into trouble when their father gets home. Discipline
should be carried out immediately after the disobedience occurs so
that the child will connect the disobedience with its
consequences. If parents wait until later, the child may have
forgotten why he got into trouble, and feel that the parents are
not justified in disciplining him.
(1)
Putting your child in the bedroom. When the child is
disobeying he should first be warned that you are going to put him
in the bedroom if he doesn't obey. If he continues to disobey,
take him to the room immediately. Do not keep repeating warnings.
For smaller children, you will probably have to sit in the room
with them; for older children, they can sit alone. If they are
crying or yelling, don't let them come out until they stop. Also,
teach them that they need to apologize before you let them out. If
they apologize, show your happiness and quick acceptance. For
those children who whine and cry for everything, it is good to
teach them that they will be sent to the bedroom when they whine
and cry. They should not be allowed to whine and cry in the living
room where they will disturb others.
(2)
Showing your disappointment. If you have established a good
relationship with your child, your being
disappointment with him will have a great impact.
(3)
Withholding privileges. Not letting the child go out to
play, ride his
bicycle, or use his skates, for
example. Threats to do this are useful only if the child
believes you.
(4)
Giving rewards. These could be compliments, sweets, toys,
or anything else that your child likes.
Two words of caution, however. First, rewards should not become
bribes. You should not tell your child, "If you obey me, I
will take you for ice cream." Rewards should be spontaneous
on your part to show your appreciation for your child's actions.
They should not be expected by the child. You should
say, "Since you have been such a good boy today, I'm going to
take you for ice cream." Second, you should be careful that
your relationship with your child does not become a marketplace
where he expects to get a reward from you for everything he does.
You should, however, teach him that even though he doesn't
always receive a reward from you for his good actions, he might
receive one from Allah (SWT).
|