Children Character

The issue referred to in the questions is one of the most serious problems in raising children nowadays. Some of the Islamic solutions to this problems and ways of instilling strength and honor in our children's character are listed below:

Takniyyah (using the kunya or patronymic? in addressing children). Calling a young boy 'Abu Fulan' (Father of so and so) or a young girl 'Um Fulan" (Mother of so and so) will make the child feel more responsible and grown up, so he will become more mature and will feel above normal childishness.

Taking them to gatherings and letting them sit with grown ups. This will increase their understanding and wisdom, make them try to imitate adults, as well as keeping them form spending to much time on games and entertainment.

Talking to them about the heroic deeds of earlier and subsequent generations, Islamic battles and victories. This will encourage them to be brave which is one of the most important parts of being strong and honorable.

Teaching them good manners for example as narrated by Abu Hurairah from the Prophet (pbuh) said: "The young should greet the old, the passerby should greet one who is sitting and the small group should greet the larger group" (Al Bukhari)

Giving them the praise and respect they deserve in fronts of others as shown in the following hadith. Sahl ibn Sa'd said that the Prophet (pbuh) was brought a cup and he drank from it. There was a boy the youngest of the people, on his right ad some elders on his left. He said, "O young boy, will you allow me to give this to the elders?". The boy said, "I will not give away my share of your blessings to anyone, O Messenger of Allah. So he gave the cup to him. (Bukhari)

Teaching them manly sports. Such as archery, swimming and riding horse.

Avoid humiliating them especially in front of others.
Never belittling their ideas and encouraging them to take part.
Consulting them and asking for their opinions. Giving them responsibilities in accordance to their age and abilities.
Teaching them to be brave as appropriate - including how to speak in public.

Making sure their clothes are modest and protecting them from inappropriate clothing, hairstyles, movements and ways of walking.
Making sure that boys do not wear silk, as this is only for woman.

Avoiding extravagance, luxury, laziness and idleness.
Avoiding entertainment or pastime gathering, singing, music and other wastes of time because these go against strength, honor and seriousness.

These are some of the ways and means which will increase strength and honor and protect our children.
Allah is the One Who guides to the Straight Path.

 

Dealing With Slowness In Children

This behavior can be divided into 2 categories: deliberate and unintentional. Unintentional slowness often occur in younger children because of their inability to understand the concept and value of time as do adults. Parents can play racing game to help speed things up, set up realistic expectation according to the child's age, break down the tasks in easy and manageable segments. Parents can also plan for additional time for the child to complete the task. Deliberate slowness often occur in older children as a form of indirect avoidance in doing the task. Solutions for this is for parents to reward the child for completing the task in a prescribed period of time.

Al-Jumuah vol.11 issue 7

 

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