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If we are to reach real peace in this world...we shall have to begin with the children.; --Mahatma Gandhi--
People holds different expectations about what is important, what is to be valued, and how we should behave. Some people take all of these lightly and there are some who take it very seriously. This particular group of people let others control them by putting the unnecessary (not to say unIslamic) standard for them to follow.
Most of the time the conflict arises when there is pressure among the youth to follow others of whom they believe are worth followed and idolized. It is most unfortunate that the things or people that they followed are that of the negative western cultures (thanks to the Hollywood so-called superstars). Somehow they have this notion that to live like the western people is the right way of living.
When the pressure to be what they wanted to be clashes with reality (facts pertaining to cultures and religious concerns) would result to the enormous anger and dissaticfaction in them. This should not take place in the first place.
The one thing
that anger is good at is to create chaos and anything in between. Anger
is not the way to vent out one's emotion. There is no need to smash everything
that is within one's reach and to rehearse using the foulest of language
to everyone you meet.NO. That is not the way, in fact, it would only bring
on more problem rather than solving it.
Allah wants Muslims to restrain themselves during their rage and replace it with love and benevolence.Fearing Allah also works in this field, providing similar motives and leaving similar effects. Anger is a human reaction, which is normally combined or followed by heated blood and flight of temper. It is both natural and essential to man. It can, however, be overcome only through that higher perception made possible by the positive effects of fearing Allah and the spiritual strength which man achieves through looking up to horizons which are far more superior and sublime than man’s own needs and interests.
Restraining
anger is only the first stage, which is not sufficient by itself. A person
may restrain his anger, but harbours a grudge. His outward fury becomes
a deeply seated, inward rancour. It is needless to say that anger and fury
are cleaner and more preferable feelings than grudge and rancour. The Qur’anic
verse emphasizes that the God-fearing do not allow their anger to become
a grudge. They forgive others and do not harbour any ill feelings. When
anger is deliberately restrained, it becomes a burden, a fire that burns
internally sending its smoke over man’s conscience in order to blur its
vision. Forgiveness, however, ensures release from that burden, gives peace
of heart and conscience as well as an easy movement in a more sublime world.
Our communication with others is central to us leading towards a healthy fulfilling lives. The meetings and interactions we have with people not only provide us with the necessary physical resources for living such as food, water, and shelter, but also nourish our social well-being. Parents, teachers, co-workers, classmates, and friends provide the necessary encouragement and support to build our self-esteem and help us develop strong personal and working relationships with others. Without the help of others, it would be difficult to sustain our growth and development in our intellectual, physical, social, and spiritual lives.
Schools and college students are routinely exposed in their classroom to new information and opinions, hence they tend to be more receptive to new beliefs and ideas. Learning institutions are therefore fertile grounds where the seeds of Islam can be sowed inside the hearts of non-Muslim students. Muslim students should take ample advantage of this opportunity and expose their schoolmates to the beautiful beliefs of Islam.
Communities do better when young people are engaged in enriching, supervised activities after-school, especially between the hours of 2:00 to 8:00 p.m. That's when juvenile crime triples, when more teenagers become pregnant, it is the time when there is more gang-related activity, and when young people abuse alcohol and other drugs. The after-school hours are the most dangerous for young people because of the lack of supervision.
Youth who participate in after-school activities demonstrate enhanced interpersonal relationships, ability to handle conflicts, and improved self-confidence. Youth also demonstrate better achievement in math, reading, and other core academic subjects.
Often, people whose anger erupts in violence are unable to talk about their feelings and lack the skills to resolve interpersonal conflicts peaceably. Such deficits may leave them especially vulnerable to media messages that encourage using violence to settle disagreements. It's not surprising that 41% of respondents in the Harvard survey agreed with the statement "If I am challenged, I am going to fight."
Guns and other weapons are easily available, and young people don't have a good sense of the consequences of their actions. So, they may think that an easy way to win an argument is to threaten opponents, which can lead to accidental injury or death, or even to the intentional use of a weapon.
Youth who learn to solve problems fairly and nonviolently are respected
by others, make friends more easily, and become role models for others.
Youth who use violence may die young or spend their lives in prison.
In
communities where youth witness a great deal of violence, they may grow
up thinking that using violence is the best or only way to end a disagreement,
unless they are shown other equally effective methods.
Think
beforehand what the consequences of different actions will be: anger and
violence versus walking away from a dispute or compromise.
Use
humor to cool hostility.
Never
fight with anyone using drugs or alcohol, or likely to have a weapon.
Get
as much information about a disagreement as possible, to help solve it
and to head off feelings of uncontrollable anger.
Try
to think of solutions to a dispute that will give both sides something,
and try to understand an opponent's point of view.
Show
respect for an opponent's rights and position
Don't
make bias against an opponent's race, religion, sex, or sexual orientation
as a reason for a dispute. Show character by rejecting the bait for a fight,
or accepting a compromise to a dispute, rather than responding with violence.
Don't
coerce a partner or be violent in a relationship; this behavior causes
distance, loss of respect and love, and feelings of fear and guilt, in
addition to the more obvious consequences of physical harm to the victim
and arrest of the abuser.
Show
that people like and respect nonviolent problem-solvers more than bullies,
and be a nonviolent problem-solver yourself.
Communication between parents and children strengthens family bonds and is crucial in helping children understand and coping with their frustrations. But when children become teenagers, there is less willingness on their part to open up to their parents. At around age 13 they begin to pull back, become more independent, and talk less, creating a communications gap that can cause parents to feel frustrated, especially parents who find it uncomfortable to talk to their children about family conflicts. Yet parents need to know what's going on with their children, and they need to make sure their children know that they are always available to talk to. Where youth violence is concerned, the effectiveness of a parent's communication skills can mean the difference between life and death.
Enduring solutions must include efforts to help young people at risk develop a high regard for human life — to help them develope a strong moral character. Again, using the public-health model, there are three approaches to violence prevention:
1. Primary violence prevention — making nonviolence popular: teaching and encouraging nonviolent problem solving; redefining the “hero” and role models (through peer leadership and mediation; mass media messages, classroom education and community training programs)
2.Secondary violence prevention — counseling victims and “at-risk” youth: Mentoring programs; special counseling for children who have witnessed violent incidents; “in-school” suspension; “first offender” programs
3.Tertiary
violence prevention — punishing and correcting violent behavior: Arrest,
prosecution and incarceration.
For more information
on the topic or other related matter, click on the links below.
http://www.themodernreligion.com/family/family_muslimamericans.htm
sex education and islam http://www.islam-usa.com/s9.html
islam as a way of life http://www.toluislam.com/pub_online/previous_issues/november00/islamaway.htm
http://www.toluislam.com/pub_online/previous_issues/november00/islamaway.htm
http://www.sedl.org/change/issues/issues52.html
Home | Interpersonel Conflicts |
How The Conflicts Starts | Peer Pressure | Anaylsis Of The Conflicts |
|How To Solve The Conflicts (1) | How To Solve The Conflicts (2) | How To Deal With The Conflicts.
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